love hurts and it is complicated.


i dunno what has become of me and my life.


i feel that my life's a mess right now.


exams are coming and relationship's going downhill.

yesterday i went to school for pathology test. test was ok, i didnt really study much for it. i jus read through and understand the topics. sometimes i wonder why im in my course of optometry. why do we have to stress ourselves so much now during our youth. but of course, they always say, adults have more stress and problems in the working life, compared to students in their youths studying. anyways, then my friends went off after that. i did a mini survey for some malay language department which ms. grace khoo asked me to do. then pameela n shan helped me handed in the survey. thanks to you both.. !! =) i had to go the opposite way and meet ms. monica to get back my test paper as i didnt go to school the day before. i only scored borderline. i didnt really studied for it too. nowadays always no mood to study. i wonder why and next tuesday is already exams. im afraid i must say because i dont think i'll touch any of my books. no mood.


after that i met my guy. i waited for him in the computer lab. he ended at 4plus. because of something tiny, we had a quarrel which then lead to a bigger quarrel. its usual i guess. now it has become a big quarrel not knowing if we're still together. maybe we are. maybe we are not. this has happen once or twice before and after some time we did make up to each other. but i dunno if this is for real or..?? i dunno what to hope for. we've been together for so long, coming to 3 years.. or is it best to move on. its definitely easier said than done. especially if you've gone really close to your bf/gf. he has a good side, gentleman, romantic,etc. but when he gets angry, its like a bomb explosion. he keeps thinking im at fault. maybe i really am at fault.

im so confused and alone.

then i went home at 9plus. had no mood for anything but decided to watch my favorite show. law and order (svu). well, everyone has problems and i guess this is my problem now. i hope things will turn out for the better soon.

love can be sweet but can hurt a lot.